By Dominic Gourley

Some times it's easiest to know what Constructive is by looking at its contrast. Below we've put together a list of 8 Things Constructive People Don't Do (and what they do instead).

1 – Constructive People Don’t… Need Other’s Approval
Everyone wants to be liked, but when you NEED to be liked you start trading in your beliefs, values, and autonomy in order to please others and gain their approval. Constructive people take responsibility for themselves and don’t get bogged down with feelings of guilt or worry.

2 - Constructive People Don’t… Follow Rules That Don’t Make Sense
 Following conventions and rules keeps you safe from sticking out, being different, or having to take responsibility for decisions. Constructive people are creative and original thinkers, they aren’t afraid to be seen questioning “the way things have always been done” even if that means pushing against authority figures.

3 - Constructive People Don’t… Give Away their Decision Making
Being dependent on others to make decisions might make you feel safe, but it erodes self-esteem in the long run. Constructive people are proactive rather than passive. They believe that their effort makes a difference and that they are in control over their own lives.

4 - Constructive People Don’t… Avoid Tough Situations
Avoiding things that threaten you might seem like a good way of protecting yourself - eventually though it leads to self-doubt and being stuck in the same situations over and over again. Constructive people proactively address problems even if it might cause some discomfort in the short term.

5 - Constructive People Don’t… Tear People and Ideas Down
Always focusing on what’s wrong rather than what’s right, shooting down people and ideas, and being critical can make you feel important but it results in isolation. Constructive people look at what is right about ideas, they build others up, encourage them, explore and improve.

6 - Constructive People Don’t… Need to Control and Dominate
 A belief in using force, intimidation and coercion to get results might lead to feelings of importance and it might work in the short term, but in the long term this approach destroys relationships. Constructive people exercise a true sense of power by knowing how to do the job, being respected by others, trusting others, and achieving results. 

7 - Constructive People Don’t… Measure Their Self-Worth Against Others
When your self-worth rides on winning or losing – everything becomes a competition. Colleagues are competition, friends are competition, family is competition. Such an outlook steals the fun from any activity you do. Constructive people come out ahead in competitive situations by focusing on their own standards, on performance excellence, and on the process of doing well rather than the end result.

8 - Constructive People Don’t… Let Perfection get in the way of Excellent
Seeking perfection can lead to a pre-occupation with detail that distorts perspective and judgement. Constructive people are more effective by setting challenging yet attainable goals, and pursuing a high standard of excellence without feeling the need for everything to be flawless.

 

These ‘8 Things’ were based on the Thinking and Behaviour styles measured in Human Synergistics’ Life Styles Inventory™ and based on the research of Dr Robert A. Cooke and Dr J Clayton Lafferty. Behaviours are measured on the Circumplex which you can explore here. If you, your team, or your organisation want to be more Constructive, more satisfied, and more effective – get in contact with us: info@human-synergistics.com.au